Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Tale of Woe

It was a blustery Friday morning. I had just dropped Madeleine off at daycare and Isabelle and I were chatting peacefully as I drove her to preschool.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a kamikaze squirrel jumped out of a nearby bush and ran as fast as his legs could carry him toward the rear wheel of my monstrous van.

I tried to swerve to avoid hitting the pint-sized rodent but my efforts were in vain as I heard the inevitable bump-bump sound of wheels on fur. Things only got worse when I realized to my horror that a group of former students were watching the scene while waiting happily at the bus stop. At the time my only hope was that they hadn't seen I was the squirrel-murdering offender so I sped off, choosing instead to be a cowardly hit-and-run squirrel killer.

Looking back at how events unfolded I can only imagine that if the children did know it was me they may have thought my swerve of avoidance was actually a calculated move to rid the earth of all things fluffy and cute. And now I am no longer Mrs. Brock, beloved kindergarten teacher - I am that mean lady who kills harmless animals. Oh, if they only knew how many times I have successfully maneuvered out of the way of dim-witted animals of all sizes - my most heroic of all being the moves I used to save the life of a miniature tree frog.

To make myself feel better I will now hold up Eleanor Roosevelt as evidence that great people really do make horrible mistakes:

Here she is sporting her favorite fur coat - made from squirrels.

3 comments:

Becky said...

LOL! You are still the beloved Kindergarten teacher:) That crazy Tree Rat must have commited suicide.
Becky

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

He he he he he....love it. What a pick me up :)

Springs Landing said...

You are so funny....brought back some memories of our park encountered last week when a tiny squirrel insisted on having everyone's lunch. Caroline wanted to touch it, while her horrified friend screamed bloody murder....Mommy went running to get the squirrel to leave, butthe squirrel just sat his ground. I had to take my shoe and wave it like a crazy women before it slowly moved away....I am sure all the kids in the playground thought I over-reacted or was an animal killer. Anyway, your tale was quite cute. Hope your next trip to school is uneventful.