Saturday, January 15, 2011

"Where's Winnie-the-Pooh's Vagina?"

Sorry Grandma, I bet that's not the title you expected to see when you logged in today. But, that is what's on the little one's mind these days.

Madeleine, being the inquisitive two-year-old she is, has nothing but questions. Many months ago, in the midst of mastering all the body parts, I discussed this one with Maddy too. Isn't that what the parenting books tell you to do? You know, to avoid embarrassment when they're teenagers? Unfortunately Madeleine was so highly successful in learning this concept that the "v word" pops up quite frequently around our house, much to the dismay of any unsuspecting adult within earshot. For example, on Christmas morning a brand new Mrs. Potato Head was turned over and Maddy was delighted to discover that she too had Maddy's favorite body part - no matter that Mrs. Potato Head's legs were inserted there.

Today, Madeleine was playing with her Winnie-the-Pooh toy and was disgruntled to discover that poor Winnie was lacking in a certain area...hence the title of this post. And then I was tasked with explaining why bears, boys and plastic toys don't have the same body parts as she.
Now, the best part of the story is where this important and embarrassing conversation took place - in the middle of the "Bite Me" cupcake shop. And...scene.
Thus concludes my most off-color and lewd post ever.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A Brand New Year

Even though I headed back to work today my thoughts are still on vacation. The girls and I had a great end to our two weeks off, despite the frigid temperatures. The small dusting of snow, combined with a lot of ice made a few trial runs on our new sled possible.

The girls had fun playing with all their new Christmas toys but quickly resorted to their own invented games. This one is called: "Ballerinas with Grimy-Toes on Mommy's Clean Windows"
Game 2: "Do Maddy's Hair with Play Dough Accessories"

On New Year's Eve we headed to my friend Erica's house for a great party.
Looks like Laney's had too much to drink again. :)
Madeleine was doted on all night by Emersyn. I think I could hire her as a babysitter - Maddy was in Heaven getting to play with the big girls...
...she also spent the evening trying on an array of party hats.
Look #1:
Look #2:
Look #3:
While the kids played the grown-ups practiced embarrassing dance moves.
Thanks for a great time Erica!
Since it's a new year I guess I must make a resolution. After bingeing on holiday yummies for the last two weeks I'm definitely putting the chunky in Chunky Monkey and not in a good Ben and Jerry's sort of way. So, you can guess what my resolution is. The house has been cleared of anything tempting, although I do wish I could rig some sort of aversive therapy in the bakery aisle of the grocery store. A few electric shocks never hurt anyone, right?

P.S. If you're out shopping and see me reaching for a box of donuts feel free to slap me upside the head. I'll thank you.